THE US ARMY .. SHOW YOU THE WAY TO GO HOME

The biscuits in the Army
They say are mighty fine 
One rolled off the table
And killed a pal of mine

They say that in the Army
The coffee's mighty fine
It looks like muddy water
And tastes like turpentine

The say that in the Army
The pay is mighty fine
They give you fifty dollars
And take back forty-nine

A chaplain in the Army
Has a collar on his neck
If you don't listen to him
You'll all wind up in hell

Oh the surgeons in the Army
They say we're mighty bright
We work on soldiers through the day
And nurses through the night

The corporals in the Army 
You say we're really green
But if it weren't for us guys 
You'd be in the latrine

Oh some guys like the Army
I think that it's a mess
If it's so damn terrific
How come I wear a dress

Friendships in the Army
They say are mighty rare
So I spend all my free time
Carousing with my mare

The girls at the service club 
They say are mighty fine
Most are over eighty 
And the rest are under nine.

{Refrain, repeat between each verse}
Oh, I don't want no more of Army life
Gee mom, I wanna go home






{Final refrain}
...Gee, mom, I wanna go
But they won't let me go [back to Ontario]
Gee, mom, I wanna go home